what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
