No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
