Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
