so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
