is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
