I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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