I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
