you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize