I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
