the condom got lost in my hair
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Your cock deserves a montage
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
