She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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