You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
