ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
