her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
