So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
