his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
