I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
