STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
