It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
