I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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