Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Just pee around me
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
