She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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