I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
