And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
