I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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