It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
