I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
