none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
