Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
