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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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