Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
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