Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
