You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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