windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
