no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
