she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize