And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
