mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
