Your face is a jimmy john
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
The Olympian is in my bed
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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