I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
