My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
