god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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