I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
im holly from the hills drunk
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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