It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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