You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
