just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
