Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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