I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
