Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize