so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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