I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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