We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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