do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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