Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
