At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
