I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize