Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
