...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
What drink are we having for lunch?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
