it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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