i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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